When I was younger, I did not like smoking girls. The fact that the girl smokes was quite definitive for me; every such girl used to immediately get to the "black list" (or "uninteresting person list", no matter) without any possibility of becoming a close person in future. I don't know the exact origins of such attitude; it is likely to have been built from a number of sources including viewpoints introduced by the parents, books, movies and own [poor] experience.

However, the attitude has changed drastically when I was about 16. I was forced to spend a continuous period of time with a girl who smoked hard. Though the girl obviously had to get to the "black list" at once, she was someone quite different from all the smoking girls I have ever met. Actually, in all other aspects she was very close to my understanding of what the ideal woman should be like. That was really a challenge, something to what practicing psychologists often refer as a "pattern breach".

That case made me reconsider my viewpoints a lot. Basically, it has given me an understanding of two things, (1) it is stupid and extremely unwise to sort out people and things into black and white just on the basis of their particular feature or features, (2) if something does not fit into the existing viewpoint, it is very likely that the viewpoint is wrong and should be revised. Since then I am trying to be more liberal and intelligent when forming my opinion on particular person or object.

Really, being too unloyal is non-productive and even insulting sometimes. Don't you hate your neighbour just because he snores too loudly at night? Hasn't your coworker become an enemy for you just because he always occupies your parking place? Haven't you stopped buying goods in a nearby supermarket just because a cashier has once shortchanged you?

You know, snoring is always a symptom of some disease. The neighbour does not snore intentionally to annoy you; he is likely just not be unaware of such "feature" of his organism. He is also likely to be a smart and friendly person in all other aspects. The coworker is likely not to know that you have chosen that parking place for yourself, in turn, he also dislikes you because you are occupying "his" place. The SM cashier might have had a sleepless night that day because of her daughter's school exam and just got mistaken when calculating the change. Yet, a smoking girl is neither a devil nor a criminal. (Yes, most of the criminals are smokers, but you can hardly state the opposite). Maybe, each of them is worth giving 'em a chance?